The "Outta Leftfield" Weblog


Sunday, September 13, 2009

A routine that's Phanatic worthy?

My wife thinks I would make a good Phillie Phanatic.
Personally, I’d like more of a corporate job: Vice President in Charge of Napping, Chief Tomfoolery Officer, Director of Nincompoopery. Something along those lines.
“Hey, you could do that,” said The Blonde Accountant at a recent Phillies game as the Phanatic shot out of the right field corner on his four-wheeler.
He stopped and faced those of us in the right field bleachers, stood on the seat of his four-wheeler, gyrated and danced, shook his behind, lifted up his shirt like it was Mardi Gras, stuck out his tongue (such as it is for the Phanatic) gave us the “ta-da!” sign with both hands and then sat back down and sped off toward the left field corner.
“Whaddaya mean, I could that?” I said.
“That’s your routine. You can shake your booty, lift up your shirt and act like a big goof,” said The Blonde Accountant.
For the record, I do not shake my booty, lift up my shirt and act like a big goof. Well, not all at the same time. If I could, I’d surely put that on my resume.
When I posted my wife’ suggestion on my Facebook page, one of my wiseguy pals wrote back, “Can you fit into the suit?”
Can I fit into the suit? Two people can fit into the Phanatic’s suit. I’m not that big anymore.
Then again, I apparently have a similar routine. I wonder how one goes about applying for a job as the Phanatic?

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm...dunno. How 'bout running across the field, sitting on Charlie's lap, stealing his hat, and dodging into the crowd? You'll either get the job, or some good material for a piece on life in the yard.

October 10, 2009 at 4:59 AM  

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Mike Morsch has been executive editor of Montgomery Newspapers since 2003. His award-winning humor column "Outta Leftfield" has been recognized by the Pennsylvania Newspaper Association, the Suburban Newspapers of America and the Philadelphia Press Association.

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