The "Outta Leftfield" Weblog


Monday, July 20, 2009

Shopping vs. napping at Limerick outlets



I love shopping on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, especially at the outlet mall in Limerick. It sure beats being on the beach or at the ballpark.
Fortunately, the outdoor mall has a sufficient number of benches on which me and the other men who like to shop can park our hind ends while our significant others frequent places like the Coach, Ann Taylor and Loft stores.
When I wasn’t dozing, I was keeping an eye on the mall security guy riding around on that little two-wheel scooter. Those things are cool. I wish I could figure out a way to work that thing into my job.
The only time I left my perch on the bench was to accompany The Blonde Accountant into the Coach handbag store, not because I need a new handbag of course, but because we were looking for a birthday gift for her mother.
I love the smell of all that leather in the Coach store. The Coach folks smell something completely different in their stores, and one look at the pricetags on those handbags and it’s evident that what they’re smelling is money.
Aside from the benches, which while sufficient could be a bit softer for my tastes, the mall restrooms feature my favorite type of hand dryer, the Xlerator, which dries one’s hands by essentially blowing the outer layer of skin clean off.
“You didn’t go in there and take video of the hand dryer, did you?” asked The Blonde Accountant when she noticed that I had awakened from my nap on the bench and disappeared for a few moments.
“Uh . . . that would be a little silly, wouldn’t it? Taking a video of a hand dryer. Sheesh, do I look that bored?” I said.
You will have to look at the accompanying video to see if I was indeed that bored.

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Location: Fort Washington, Pennsylvania

Mike Morsch has been executive editor of Montgomery Newspapers since 2003. His award-winning humor column "Outta Leftfield" has been recognized by the Pennsylvania Newspaper Association, the Suburban Newspapers of America and the Philadelphia Press Association.

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